It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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