It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize