I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
