Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
