if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
