singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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