Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize