so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
is wine microwaveable?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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