Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
