I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
