I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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