4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
