i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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