They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
