ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed

  Fav 9 1513 3479

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

  Fav 51 1401 9293

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd

  Fav 7 3140 1236

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.

  Fav 11 1316 4470

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

  Fav 5 3227 1511

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?

  Fav 6 1860 851

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (804): View more from Virginia

  Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

  Fav 4 1428 668

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

  Fav 3 1351 771

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

  Fav 7 659 1061

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows

  Fav 5 1994 842

  share tweet
  

• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.

  Fav 0 902 548

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?

  Fav 4 403 281

  share tweet
  

• (+49): View more from Germany

  Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????

  Fav 1 48 3

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.

  Fav 0 53 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.

  Fav 0 97 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize