Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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