Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't make out with my wife yet
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
