I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize