We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
where are you?
Hypothermia
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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