like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sorry about my life...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
