If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
