You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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