we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
