hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize