My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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