Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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