So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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