Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Shame - the story of my life.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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