But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize