worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I want her autograph on my taint
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
