I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
