Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
