I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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