Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I want you more than these girls want KFC
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
