i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
