Just cropdusted the office
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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