Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
