Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was confusing and full of hummus
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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