Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
