My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
