My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
