I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I looked at my own cervix.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
