have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
