We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
