He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
