Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
false alarm. still invincible.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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