i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
