Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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