Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
