didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you still have your period?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The uberlube is also flammable
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
