oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
