Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
