I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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