I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
