I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
