We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
