As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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