plz talk dirty to me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
