we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
