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i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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