i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
