Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
