she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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