How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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