dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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