Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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