I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
